Fresh Start
A new year, a new website, and a new start!
Anyone who’s been following me/my books will know that I haven’t exactly been active in the writing community these last couple of years. I was off fulfilling my dream of being a cowgirl, living in middle-of-nowhere USA, with very little free time for writing. I loved it, and am so very glad that everything lined up for me to be able to do so — my health, the end of my Tellus contract, my living situation — but now that I’m done I’m glad to be jumping feet-first back into the literary world!
It’s strange; I haven’t been entirely removed from the book world, still keeping in touch with people and going to events when I’m in the right country, trying to cheer and champion through Twitter when I can. Yet with no news of my own in the way of new book deals, or events, or wonderful things, I’ve spent a lot of time feeling… removed. Like I’m falling behind in something that isn’t even a race.
Everything in me knows that it’s not a competition, but that doesn’t stop the competitive corner of my brain from chewing itself to pieces with every month that goes by without progress. I don’t do well with idleness, yet there are only so many first draft manuscripts I can throw at my wonderful agent before she tells me to slow down and let her actually attempt to sell one of them.
I have always hated feeling out of the loop, or behind, or otherwise not meeting milestones — a childhood as an over-achiever, followed by formative years dampened by chronic illness leaving me isolated from my peers and constantly striving to catch up. I want to be the very best (like no one ever was!) and while I am over the moon for my writer friends getting new deals and bestseller lists and fantastic news, it kills me that I feel like I’m bringing nothing to the table. Even though I know I’ve been doing other things with my time, things that are less quantifiable than number of books published. I still don’t regret spending two years at the ranch. I just wish I could strangle that little voice that insists I should’ve somehow managed both simultaneously.
So, here I am, refreshing my website and trying to get my ducks in a row and my head back in the game. The crawling, achingly snail-paced game of publishing. Oh, joy.
I have plans. So many ideas rattling around my brain — new books to write, youtube videos to film, cosplays to shoot, and even a podcast I’ve been toying with. Two years of plans that have been building up while I’ve been riding trails and chasing goats. Two years of plans that I can’t start half of until I move out and have a space of my own.
I’m so ready. My ME/CFS might not be ready, but my brain is fit to burst. I can’t wait to get my name back in the ring, get the creative juices flowing, and finally feel relevant again.
It’s going to be a big new step in my journey, and I hope you’re all as excited as I am to see it. Watch this space!
Photo by Carlos Adama
Currently Reading: Dangerous Remedy by Kat Dunn
Currently Playing: Stardew Valley. A Lot of Stardew Valley.
Listening To: Almost exclusively All Time Low songs on repeat